Sometimes we are dealt a shit hand, and we have to make it work as best as we can.
Unemployment
I went through a period like that myself when I was experiencing an emotional downturn and was also faced with a lack of employment out of the blue. When confronted with this scenario, something changed in my mentality that I didn’t view it as a burden but rather as an opportunity. I kicked ass expanding my skillsets and learning how to apply my knowledge.
Now, I won’t deny that having no dependents made that mental shift possible. Because if I did have dependents, I would definitely have a different area of the brain activated. I was in a position where I was allowed to fail.
It’s necessary or recommended, even required, for men to go through a period like this. It benefited me by developing my mind, attitude, and creative thinking.
There were definitely some outside factors that assisted me as well, primarily a network of friends and understanding ears.
Upskilling
Yet, despite facing such a financial impact, I knew it wouldn’t benefit me to just sit around moping about the distraught situation I was forced into. After a short mental break, I hit the ground running examining how I can push my skills even further, to be applicable in other industries. How to take the knowledge of industries I experienced into frameworks that became transferable.
And even though I never did get into another industry, when I did return to employment, I came back with an expanded toolkit and applicable knowledge.
The other lesson I learned with this is the value of discipline. It’s easy to be disciplined when you have infrastructural limits (limited income) since you operate on survival. Discipline is much more important when things are going well. Knowing where to focus efforts/resources is a greater challenge when you have access to resources. I think that’s applicable not only in my personal life, but also in business strategy.
Aside from employment stressors, there were definitely other experiences that tested my relationships.
Metamorphosis
Making a break from a long-term ideological framework not only creates a powerful sense of existentialism, but also threatens long-standing relationships. This transition created an ideological dimorphism of my ideals. The transition phase of how to articulate what seemed to be diametrically opposed ideals into a cohesive new framework.
When going through such an experience, you have to learn about who you are, almost all over again. An existential crisis. You maintain the same standards for yourself, but now expanded ideals, while others have already positioned you into a categorized and inflexible box.
Not to mention various strains of contention coming from various individuals that for some part wanted to participate in conversation, yet couldn’t refrain from chastisement.
I believe everyone needs to go through such difficult moments. These are the times where you discover who your true allies are. It is also when you can begin to learn what you personally believe without leaning on ideological frameworks as the foundation. It gives you permission to argue why you believe it, and what that action looks like from you.
Ultimately, I believe a difference of opinion is not a means for dissolving relationships.
What Am I Now?
There are other grindstones everyone is privileged to endure. Whether it is experiences in dating, finding employment, finding your own identity, and going through health crises… I believe these are foundational not only to educate ourselves, but also friends and family.
I ask myself: what kind of man did these experiences mold me to become?
It’s made me more perseverant and introspective. Someone that looks for better things and strives to make the best out of the situation given. I constantly try to find ways to improve myself, so when these moments arise, I think it’s best to face them head-on.
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